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An Attempt at Life

I tried not to, but there I was, eyes fixated on the pulsing light, reminiscent of an angler fish to his prey. Cold, barren steel ran down the length of my body. In the background I could almost make out faint noises, whispers perhaps.

My eyes tried to focus. I attempted to shift them around in the methodical way a rebellious teenager would.

“Relax. You will need time to adjust.”, a voice softly said.

When I tried to express my concern, I was alarmed. It’s not the loss of control over my vocal system that was alarming, but rather the fact that I could not find it. I was like a drifter staring at a previously unseen map, looking for a destination.

“I’ll fix that. One second.”, the same voice announced quickly.

Suddenly, I felt pressure, and in an instant the map was revealed to me. The sensation of my lips returned and I could feel the rhythmic breathing gesture, although no breath was coming through.

“I…I can’t breath…”

“Ha. They told me you were a funny one.”, the man chuckled.

With all my effort, I tried to adjust my eyes so that I could see him. Vague splotches of white and brown muddled through the air. I blinked.

“…and something is wrong with my vision…”, I said in a panicked tone.

“Don’t worry, just some adjustments. It always goes like this. Before you know it you’ll be up and around just like before.”

Like before? What happened before this? I couldn’t remember a damn thing. All I remember was darkness, darkness and…wait. Images floated just beyond my reach.

“How did I get here? Am I injured?”

“Injured? No, you’re not injured. Look, just quiet down and let me finish these tests. I’d like to get through one more…”

“Where the hell am I!?”, my voice rasped angrily.

Just then I felt a sharp electrifying click in the back of my head. My eyes focused suddenly on the stainless steel table underneath me. The reflection was of the same quality. As I strained my eyes beyond their peripherals, I saw the pulsing light again. My thoughts came to a screeching halt, confused by what was staring back at me. They were my eyes. They were pulsing with vibrant greens and reds.

My fingers twitched. For the first time I realized that I had no sensation in my lower body, except for the few fingers on my right hand.

“I can’t feel my legs.”, was all I could say. My mind felt frozen, like it had sat through a thousand winters and was just now thawing out.

Another sharp, electrifying snap at the base of my skull.

“Shit. Hey, hand me that soldering iron. The damn thing broke off again.”

Soldering iron?

Another  ambiguous shape floated through the air to the first one. I strained my eyes again. This time I was able to make out a young woman in a lab coat, glasses, blonde hair, holding a soldering iron. I watched as she reached down and handed it to the man, who I could now see was in his forties, also wearing a lab coat, and donned with a magnifying apparatus.

First my left and then my right eye went out of focus; so out of focus that it caused a sense of vertigo.

“I think something is wrong here! What are you doing to me?”, I protested.

No reply.

The warm sensation of heat projected from my neck. Shots of darkness sprang forth claiming my sight. I could hear the man now cussing, frustrated with something. I tried to protest again but I found that I could not speak. I tried to adjust my eyes, but they were immobile.

“Shit, circuit board is toast. I’ll have to get another one. Let’s turn him off.”

My mind wildly raced as I tried to grasp for reasons and answers. Then, I felt a soft click. A warm, inviting abyss surrounded me on all sides calling to me.


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