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This Morning’s Drive

This morning I decided to follow my bucket list #…well, I don’t know the number, but I decided to listen to some French CDs that I had. My drive is about an hour each way so I thought it would be valuable. So, I pop in the CD and it starts. The first thing I notice is that it’s not really giving me the words in French and English.

The concept it (Berlitz) uses is to immerse you in French without telling you much of what it means in English. Kind of like the time my dad threw me in the pool and I had to sink or swim. FYI, if you ever think this is a good idea, just know that it is not innate human nature to swim. I flailed my arms around violently for a minute before my spitting and coughing signaled someone to rescue me. None of that ever happened, but you can imagine what it would be like though. In truth, I was born a mer-man, or mer-baby if you will. But I’m getting side-tracked…

So there I was, thrown into this French immersion technique, driving down the road when some greatly thoughtful and intelligent human being decides to pull out in front of the guy going to opposite way. The other highly intellectual and intuitive person then swerves into my lane to avoid subject A, causing me to slam on my brakes for fear that my tinker-toy hybrid would make me look like a can of sardines. I, surprisingly, do not cuss the guy out. My mind has been considerably blown by the immersion of a different language. I am, le befuddled.

As I drive, I then see subject A, who appears to be in his early twenties texting on his phone and veering side to side. In his passenger seat is a child who I believe is too young to be in the front seat, let alone without some sort of booster. So, if you’re out there anonymous child, just know that your big brother is a douche.

The rest of my ride was uneventful. I listened intently, realizing that it would probably take about four or five repetitions of the CD set before I learned anything of substance. In fairness, the Berlitz program came with activity books but I can’t exactly utilize them and drive. Well, I can, but then I’d be a douche too.

Hopefully today is less confusing and wreck prone than the beginning. Or maybe I should wish for the exact opposite. I could use some excitement in my life.


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7 thoughts on “This Morning’s Drive

  1. Wait. Did you understand a bit at the end? Any words? Parce que parler le Francais est tres joli. Also, don’t try and learn from my French. C’est horrible.

    • LOL. Well, admittedly, my wife is French so I know a bit. At least enough to know what you just asked. Also, I’m pretty good on food. Cause I’m a glutenous, glutenous man. šŸ™‚

  2. No excitement allowed. I need to catch up on these posts, and I don’t want you getting anything else to write about.

  3. This is great! I’m still laughing out loud!

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