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Reality TV Idea….I’m Gonna Make a Million Bucks!

Ok, so hear me out. This might get a little rude, but try to follow me all the way to the finish.

I don’t know that I’ve successfully watched an entire episode of “The Biggest Loser” but I get the concept. A bunch of people who are overweight (mostly seriously so) try to lose the most combined weight while doing ridiculous things to entertain people. My problem with the show is that most people only watch it to make fun of obese people and to make themselves feel better about their weight. I feel that the network is exploiting them. That’s just my take, but like I said, hear me out…

So I am also having a weight problem. I just weighed myself with my clothes and shoes on and the scale (that lying bastard of a scale) says that I am 200 pounds even. I’m 5’8″ and my ideal weight is supposed to be like 150 or 145. So, according to my arch-nemesis, I am 50 to 55 pounds overweight. Coincidentally, that’s about the weight of my dog. So somehow it makes me better to make a completely delusional connection with her for blame.  Damn bewitched devil dog!!!

Anyway, I am currently starting a diet/exercise routine to shed some pounds. I was thinking to myself, “Hey self, you handsome and awesome self you, if you do this you have to do it right. Don’t just lose ten pounds and then gain it all back.” That somehow led to the thought of me actually trying to stuff myself to gain weight, which then led to my greatest idea ever!

So here is what we do. We get a slew of supermodels and great looking people in the prime of their lives……and we fatten them up. We’ll call it, “The Biggest Gainer” or “The Biggest Losers who Gain Weight”. Now, I realize that my idea stems partly from my spite of people in great shape and partly from my own twisted sense of humor, but come on. Tell me that if there were 30 really fit and good-looking people stuffing their way into a coronary you wouldn’t watch it? Sure, you might not want to admit you’d watch it. Just like when you’re sitting at home watching swamp people and when you come to work all you talk about is the documentary you watched on Discovery, but you’d watch it. I can see you now…sitting on your couch, stuffing your face with popcorn. You disgust me…wait….

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21 thoughts on “Reality TV Idea….I’m Gonna Make a Million Bucks!

  1. Hahaha! Maybe washed up celebrities can do that after they are done with “dancing with the stars”, and try and pathetically grasp on to more fame. I think it would be too humiliating for A-lister’s to participate, and too sad to watch washed up reality stars commit suicide through food novelties…. actually that would be badass. Tiny bit sadistic…I would go to legalzoom.com and patent that idea.

  2. As a person with a weight problem, this would not appeal to me at all! People intentionally trying to kill themselves with food? Why not start a show & have everybody chain smoke themselves to death? First to die wins an iron lung?

    • Hey, I think you’re onto something too. Maybe we can create some sort of hybrid show where people slowly kill themselves with normal things like chain smoking, food, and t.v. I wonder how long you’d have to sit in front of a T.V. before your brain kills itself?

      • If the TV was only tuned to reality shows I don’t think it would take long before someone’s brain just died out of sheer survival instincts.

    • We could call our company “Sadistic Incorporated”. We’d get all the girls. Wait, are you a girl or guy? Cause you can have girls either way…but I’d prefer to not have a bunch of shirtless dudes hanging around our business. By the way, I just rented some retail space. You’re half of this month’s rent will be $5000.

  3. Ummm aren’t you forgetting something? Word porn…we are going to be way to busy stuffing ourselves. Wait a second. This comment could go dangerously inappropriate fast.

    Never mind all that. Good idea. I know, why not use the food orgasm thing with the gaining weight thing? It would be even more fun to…this part is getting inappropriate too. Sorry.

    • No worries. Inappropriate is my middle name. Actually, it’s Michael but my mom always called me in appropriate when no one was looking.

      I think we might need to decide what we are tagging as Word Porn. I’m not sure I clearly know what I need to categorize.

      • Me either. Also, I was just wondering if you wanted me to take the “great at word porn” part off my trifecta post. I don’t want to scare people away from you blog.

        I think I will write a post later tonight defining word porn, and then I will probably add it as a category. Basically I think that it is something that is really exciting to read and leaves you incredibly satisfied after.

      • I think the word “sensual” should be included in your word porn. Just feel how it fits in your mouth as you say it. It’s an experience all of its own.

      • Nah, you don’t need to take it down. I’m ok with being a word pornstar. 🙂

      • Did you see my definition post for word porn? I am creating the first blog profile. He is one of my favorite writers. Just know that I will be profiling you and/or your blog for a future entry into my porn star category.

      • Haven’t seen it yet. I’m still catching up to all the posts. I’ll get there though.

      • Okay, fine…I guess I will just have to wait around. Hopelessly longing for your…nevermind I am just teasing you. I have to write. 😉

      • …go onnn….. 🙂

  4. Mmmm, sensual. I love that word. I have got to write a word porn post.

  5. I almost choked via my nose from reading this…too good. I would watch it, out of spite and high ranging jealousy for skinny bitches lol

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