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Muhammed Ali meets Crackhead

You’ve heard about my drives home in previous posts. I think the reason I have so many interesting events happen is because I live in a huge metropolitan city that is now ranked the most diverse in the country. Also, I take the route home that leads me right through town and it’s over an hour drive one way.

There is a guy who I see every day. This guy actually stands on the corner that I turn on to go to my house. I’ll post a picture tomorrow or tonight because I know he’ll be there today flailing his arms wildly.(Never mind…apparently the guy has a whole Facebook fan page with video but no one has ever attempted to talk to him: Epic Boxing Man)

I’m not sure exactly what is up with this guy, but I have to think it’s a combination of mental problems, a boxing history, and possibly drugs. In my great love for you viewers, I might get up the nerve to talk to this guy and get a backstory for a future blog, but I’m not sure I want to go anywhere close to him?

Why, you ask? Well, for hours, and I mean hours he stands on the corner on a busy street and just fights imaginary people. I would call it shadow boxing, but this guy spins and ducks imaginary punches and all kinds of stuff.

If you’ve followed the above link, you know that he is actually dressed pretty decent. He’s not homeless. I once saw him walking to his apartment and even saw him driving a car which was gold, had a bunch of Winnie-The-Pooh stuffed animals in the back and said “Pooh” on the license plate. So this guy not only fights invisible people but also has a pooh fetish. Actually, that didn’t sound right….

Okay, I’ve just made up my mind. I’m going to get an interview with the guy today. You, my loyal followers, are going to get the first-ever interview with this, apparently, famous character. I will probably have to wear headgear when approaching him, but so be it. If you don’t hear from me tomorrow it’s probably because this guy killed me. If that is the case my will blog will reads as follows:

 

The Hobbler: To my hobbly, bug phobia’d friend I leave all my comments in their entirety. I hope that you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoy posting them.

Benzeknees: To you I leave my keyboard. It has random food particles and probably some hair, but with a good cleaning those should come right out. Also…the tab key sticks a little.

jenn: I leave you my professional headshots I had taken when I was trying out for American Idol. FYI, foot puppetry is apparently not a real thing, not is it worthy of television air time.

and last but not least…

Nifti: To you I give the greatest gift of all, a child’s laughter. I keep him locked up in the shed out back. He enjoys knock knock jokes, riddles, and tickling. The child food is in the bag under the desk.

 

To everyone else (who I have not forgotten), I leave this ultimate word of wisdom:

“Only confess to it if you are the only other person in the elevator.”

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10 thoughts on “Muhammed Ali meets Crackhead

  1. Ewww feet.

  2. LOL @ “pooh fetish”. Great post! Good luck with your interview, I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you. 🙂

  3. That is awesome! I bet he has the coolest story. Well, not as cool as yours, but you know. Come back alive.

    • Yeah, the guy wasn’t there today. I looked for him but unless he turned into a pregnant white lady, I’m out of luck. I should also mention that if he did, he’s slacking on the shadow boxing today.

      • Lol I think it is awesome that you want to talk to him. He may be the next rocky or something.

      • By the way, thanks for giving me your comments. Do you really like leaving them? I love having them too. It was a perfect gift for you to give me when you die.

  4. I am so honored/verklempt you want to leave me your keyboard even if it has food particles in it. BTW is there any keyboard that doesn’t have food particles in it? I’ve never seen one yet unless it came straight out of the box. I do hope you will include your mouse with the keyboard since the wheel on mine is getting a little sticky. I look forward to your interview with the boxing guy.

  5. Darn. Benzeknees and Hobbler beat me here.

    Maybe he got his ass kicked by Pooh and it’s some sort of obsessive idol worship/hate thing?

    • It could be. No one stands between him and Honey. Anyway, I looked for him and he wasn’t there, so I’ll have to try again. I see him several times a week, so I’m sure I’ll catch up to him soon enough.

  6. Epic last quote! Hahaha

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