thedailyinquisition

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Sicko de Mayo

Ugh…Um sick dooday.

Why am I writing like that, you ask? It’s because my body decided that it would be fun to congest every whole north of my shoulders. Perhaps it is throwing it’s own mucusy Cinco De Mayo party. I can’t be too hard on it, it does work hard all year digesting the crap I throw in it and filtering out all the alcohol. Maybe it deserves this more than I do…

I’m gently hacking and coughing while my body is having the time of it’s life. I guess I’m going to be the designated driver today.

That’s okay though, I’ll just sit back and catch up on my reading and episodes of Frozen Planet. Later, my wife decided to watch the two terrors across the street. Let me give you some insight into these two. I once saw them having a “pants down race” as they streaked down the street with their pants around their ankles screaming “My balls, My balls!” I guess that’s something little boys do….I don’t remember doing that, but I probably blocked it out with all the other memories.

Also, these two sit in their front yard until I get home and the second I drive in they run up to me with a thousand questions. They follow me all the way to the door and ask if they can come in to play with my daughter.

No. The two ball bandits cannot hang out with my daughter. As a matter of fact, I’m going to let my dogs out and they’re going to eat you ALIVE!!! I’m just talking tough now. None of that happens. I politely dismiss them and tell them to come back later. They do, about 6 times before I finally let them in to play.

They’re not bad kids really. They just don’t have a male role-model. Their dad skipped town with some 20 year old Malaysian girl and their mom remarried some guy who lives in a different house most of the time. It’s not their fault, I understand. Don’t get me wrong, they’re really, really annoying, but they are nice to my daughters and they behave themselves around them for the most part.

So, to all my followers and just general readers out there who celebrate cinco de mayo, I hope your day is filled with culture, fun, and lets not forget….booze. Lots and lots of mind-numbing booze….which I can’t drink….bastards…

Rub it in why don’t you!

 

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4 thoughts on “Sicko de Mayo

  1. Neighborhood kids are always a mixed blessing.

  2. Sorry you’re not feeling well, maybe it’s your body’s way of saying you need a rest.

  3. Ugh, those pair of troublemakers sound like my brothers.

  4. Lol at the neighborhood kids…I have an 11 year old who wants to baby sit my twin girls, and his mother says he’s such a good boy, I am sure he is…but no thank you.

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