I Got the 3 AM Blues!
Well, not blues….what color means “couldn’t sleep and tossed and turned until I finally gave up and logged on”? Probably maroon. That seems like a color that wouldn’t let me sleep. Damn maroon.
So, I’d like to restate my title to: “I Got the 3 AM Maroons!
Well, the good thing about waking up this early is that I got to read that happinessisnotadisease nominated me for the Versatile Blogger Award. So a big thank you to her!
Also, I’m a really fast typer and I think I’m waking up everyone in my house with my clickity-clacks. Oh well, misery enjoys company right? We can all be up at 3AM. Maybe we’ll go to Denny’s or something. I wonder how many dirty looks I’d get when I walk in with my 1 year old and 4 year old into Denny’s at 3AM. Probably none. I’m sure they’ve seen worse. Although, I’d run into the bar crowd….on second thought I’ll just lull them back to sleep and suffer alone.
The good thing about 3AM is that I get to read all the news before anyone is awake. Now I get a jump start on all my witty and informative “water-cooler talk” for the office. Well, maybe not. It seems that the world was boring while I slept. Figures.
There is one piece of news I see. Apparently, the first ever drag queen bowling establishment was opened today. I didn’t know there was a big push by drag queens to bowl but apparently it’s all the rage in those circles. Actually, it’s more of a “come watch drag queens while you bowl thing”. It’s just run by drag queens. They are expecting a large heterosexual and non-dressinglikeachick clientel. This begs two questions:
1) Was there a high demand for a drag queen bowling spectacle? I’m guessing so or they wouldn’t have opened it. That’s Vegas for you. I bet it makes a shit ton of money too. I really should invent some really bizarre fetish/sport place to cash in on. Maybe midgets (vertically challenged) who serve pancakes on roller skates? Or a hockey arena where all the contenders are old men in diapers? I can see it now the Zamboni would have a big “Geritol” written across it.
2)Where are they getting all these drag queens from? Probably local shows. I don’t know, maybe there is like a drag queen mafia I don’t know about. I bet there is. The seedy underbelly of the drag queen world. For some reason saying underbelly and drag queen in the same sentence is not appealing to me. But I bet they have a ring leader who has a beehive hairdo and keeps a gun stashed somewhere in it. That’s one organized crime family I don’t want to mess with. They probably turn all their victims into Lucille Ball look-a-likes. Scary stuff man….scary stuff….
Well, good morning and I’m going to now go into a slight staring coma. I’ll just be here drooling on my keyboard and staring helplessly at the screen if you need me.