thedailyinquisition

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You may call me Hercules

It’s been a while since my last post. I’ve been very busy. Although I am a little behind on my goal of world domination through impressive strength and karate chops, I’m still making progress.

My daily routine now goes as follows:

EXTREME Wake up

EXTREME Bowl of cereal

EXTREME Bathroom break

QUIET Qigong and meditation

EXTREME Punching Makiwara Board, trying not to look like it hurts, and looking at my scarred knuckles satisfactorily

EXTREME Working at Office

EXTREME Lifting random heavy rocks I found at my parents house

EXTREME Shadow boxing, stretching, and calisthenics

EXTREME DINNER

EXTREME Sleep

 

I’m sure you noticed (and were probably annoyed by) the multitude of extremes. It’s because I’m just that extreme. And if you’ve noticed that I’m not eating lunch, it’s because my lunch now consists of spring rolls eaten randomly throughout the day. Next step, injecting nutrients straight into my blood stream. EXTREME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Seriously though, I’m a little scraped, cut, and bruised right now. Nothing too bad, I’m just toughening up my body for the apocalypse. And if that doesn’t happen….I’m going to be the toughest, strongest, judo-choppiest mofo on the 8th floor of my office building. I can’t count any other floors because there is this amazonian woman who works here and I don’t know what floor she’s on because I always hide. I’ve seen videos of what amazonian women do to men. I don’t want that kind of trouble…

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6 thoughts on “You may call me Hercules

  1. Lol!!!! She probably does the extreme

  2. cool beans… so are you thinking the amazonian might be able to take you in the judo chopped mofo skill?

  3. Yesterday a 5’3, probably weighing almost 200 lbs NUTRITIONIST told me I had to lose 10 kilos or I would probably die young.

    HELLO? Do I look like a mirror?!

    Or maybe he really is talking about me. *goosebumps* Tell me, are those rocks effective? I might need to find some myself.

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