So, I decided to throw an Easter lunch for both sides of my family. When I say, “I decided” I mean that my wife told me that’s what we were going to do and I tucked my tail between my legs and sulked in the corner.
There were about 19 people and the sheer amount of food preparation I had to undertake was pretty monumental. I literaly ran out of cooking surfaces on which to heat food. I used the oven (all of it), the stove top (all of it), and the grill. By the time I was done it looked like a catering bomb when off in my kitchen. But everyone was fed and had a great time.
Afterward, we were playing around my back yard. I should point out that we have found various items under about a foot of dirt in the back: garden stones, tools, glass, nails, wires, etc. So I notice this large black square in the corner that was recently unearthed. Turns out its a cable hub for my whole neighborhood. Lucky Me. I decide to open it and see a swarm of cockroaches having a roach orgy in my back yard. Now, I’m open minded and I like an orgy as much as the next guy, but I found this a little offputting.
Later that night we were finding roaches (and these are the large german cockroaches) in our drawers and cupboards. They hadn’t been noticeable before, but I must have caused them to rush my house after revealing their hiding spot.Well, not my wife won’t turn off the bedroom light because of the roaches and I have to sleep with it on. Oddly enough, that night I had a dream that Aliens were trying to enlist me to start a new kind of energy. I followed them in a warehouse to a lift covered in cock roaches, to a loft filled with cockroaches and cockroach-like alien queens. They could turn into humanoid forms and they showed me that by inserting an olive in their asses they could power a small television. Whatever I ate that night I am not eating it again before bed. I’m actually almost ashamed to tell that dream. Almost.